Who are your inner demons?

I hear a plethora of voices in my head, and some of them aren't very kind at all. In fact, some of them are outright cruel. In this series I am going to expose one of the inner conversations I have been having with myself for far too long. I hope that something in this process will be helpful and healing for you.

#JustLikeYou
#8WeeksInfiniteProgress

Exercising My Demons: Introduction

My very first therapist liked the theories of Jung. As such, my councilor brought my attention to the idea that we all have a source of darker energy within us. An inner demon. That makes perfect sense to me. No arguments there. He made the point that because of our nature, we can never defeat/destroy/remove this part of ourselves. We can only become aware of it, and seek to limit the damage it causes. These demons have to be met, so that they can be understood and accepted, but not embraced or allowed to run rampant. I cannot speak for others, but I experience this phenomenon as a menacing whisper. I don’t know about yours, but the voice I hear lies.

Is there ever a moment when the whispers within the shadows stop hissing all their poison? These mental cicadas, their incessant racket… but they’re nowhere to be seen. All you ever find are the husks. I just wish they’d be quiet. Constantly, the same droning, the same squall. I just want them to stop. South Carolina, you are the perfect manifestation of my emotional landscape.

The demons has never had faces, shapes, or sounds. They always simply emanated their toxicity like radioactive waste. They suckle me with poison, and a mutated image of myself is nurtured by this slop. I find that positive self talk isn’t enough. “You are a fat, worthless failure who has wasted his talent and potential.” Allowing that sentiment to rumble around in the echo chamber of my head allows it to sound real. But giving The Shadow a voice, and allowing it to speak its lies aloud renders them absurd. Let me repeat that nonsense aloud with my own mouth… Yep, it’s ridiculous to the point of being laughable. It’s ludicrous. But that isn’t enough. In the past I’ve tried to negotiate with my inner demons, or to debate with them. I’ve tried to explain my perspective. I’ve pleaded with them, tried to make them see reason.

One of the reasons The Shadow became insidious is because it’s been without form. It’s been void. No, no, no… You can’t box with shadows. So I’ve decided to exact a little revenge. Click here, and let’s shine some light into the dark corner where this filth has been hiding…