Emotions are powerful. They can even change the physiological makeup of our bodies. The two most powerful emotional responses, love and fear, are particularly adept at creating physical responses. They have ramifications throughout all aspects of our health and wellness. They dictate interpersonal relationships. Love is life, and that it is the focus here.
The stages of love
Lust
Lust causes the release of sexual hormones and creates the impetus for procreation. Research shows scientifically that this stage lasts approximately as little as two weeks and as long as three months. Only rarely does unadulterated lust survive past that cycle.
Attraction
Attraction is the stage that allows for a long-enough tolerance of one’s partner to see offspring brought forth. It has a duration of anywhere from one to three years. It is associated with the development of nerve growth hormone (NGH), and is present only in newly attracted individuals. Producing NGH requires more time than lust allows. But the nerves and synapses generated by NGH have a physical capacity to last about one year. Residual structures of this synaptic development can withstand another two years at most before they physically break down altogether.
Attachment
Attachment, the final phase, can last decades. It allows individuals to create lasting relationships, so they create stability while they raise children to full maturity. In the attachment phase the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are at their peak levels. These chemicals create a sensation of bonding and are released during sex. Oxytocin and vasopressin also generate feelings of generosity. They also inhibit the action of hormones that create the symptoms of withdrawal from addictive substances (e.g. opioids).
Addicted to love
Love is bliss, and it conquers all. Love heals. It soothes. (Loss of) Love hurts. (Loss of) Love kills. (Loss of) Love bleeds. People around the world repeat these clichés endlessly. Why? Because they are true. The collected feelings, thoughts, emotions, and psycho-physiological responses grouped together in this thing called “love” are a mammalian response mechanism that ensures the preservation of the species.
Why do these universal perceptions exist? Because pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, and amphetamines are released in a constant stream by the brain. These are the hormones that directly affect sensations of euphoria, invincibility, and confidence. They create attentiveness, generosity, and many other “positive” emotions. Remember also that some of these hormones not only cause “happiness,” they also block “sadness.”
As an aside, the cliché “love bleeds” is also accurate: Its hormones thicken the blood to a healthy consistency. Love is good for your cardio-vascular system. Its hormones also cause the lungs to open further, so love also facilitates breathing.
Note that many of these substances, when in too high or too low a concentration, cause the symptoms for depression. Amphetamines are responsible for alertness, excitability, vigor, concentration and well-being. Amphetamines are also addictive. If you lose love, then all the hormones that create a tolerance or resistance to addiction become imbalanced. Then the chemicals that cause the symptoms of a broken heart proliferate. Panic, depression, anxiety, and distraction are common after a break up. Boredom and complacency can become heavy burdens. In extreme instances, jilted people exhibit violence, suicide, and psychosis.
Many of these hormones also affect appetite and metabolism. Depression resulting from withdrawal symptoms has another side effect. When grief lowers serotonin and amphetamines, they can no longer control hunger. It’s true: Breaking up does make you fat.
Shot through the heart
Why do people consider the heart as the source or site of love? Because most of the hormones we associate with this emotion are stored to some level within, or transported by way of, this organ. Many of them have a direct effect on blood pressure and heart rate. We perceive the reactions and sensations of these chemicals in the chest and throat. Thus, it’s only natural to literally feel your emotions in your heart.
In summation, being in love, or experiencing a love for others, causes a biological waterfall of responses that maintains healthful appetite. It allows for better blood circulation and respiration, and aids stress management. It improves logical and rational thought processes, and it stabilizes moods. These chemicals protect us from the hormones that cause anxiety, depression, and irrational thoughts. It shields us from emotional and physical diseases.
A loss or lack of love (or a perception of it) can literally kill us. Babies who are not touched and coddled are not stimulated. They do not release the chemicals that cause the development of nerves, and do not produce the hormones required to maintain healthful biological systems. With so many necessary biological functions growing out of a response to love, it is no wonder that many babies who are not given attention actually experience stunted development, and some die. Reports of this phenomenon at orphanages in China show that locations with too few caregivers experience higher infant mortality rates.
So, what we said at the beginning is true: Love is life. People, pets, and plants thrive where there is care. Love feels good, because it promotes health and wellness. We yearn for it. We need it, not because society tells us to get married and have a baby, but because without it we are literally dying.
